Not Your Wednesday/Thursday….

I met Barry on Bumble. He is cute, successful, well mannered and just an all around gentleman who happens to still be married (although separated/not yet divorced from his wife with whom he has a child with). My understanding is his divorce would be final May 1.

I misunderstood…his divorce would be considered “uncontested” on May 1st. He hasn’t filed the papers yet. I never dated a separated guy before and didn’t realize it’s not a good idea to date a guy who hasn’t been divorced for at least two years. Apparently I’m the only person in NY that didn’t know this already. Now I know…..

But….

I’d been seeing him for nearly five months and absolutely adored him…to say I was emotionally invested is an understatement. Granted I’d drop him like a bad habit if Dr. Hottie were available but that goes without saying…although I did just say it.

Barry is everything I want in a significant other….sweet, smart, funny, thoughtful, affectionate….but…apparently not “everything” being: emotionally available. Funny…just realizing maybe I’m not available either considering I’m in love with Dr. Hottie who is also not available. This is dating in New York.

We started with drinks, then dinner and drinks after work, then this led to weekend overnight stays…and things seemed to be progressing nicely. He kissed me at random times and showered me with affection. It was intoxicating.

He said just to have fun and no expectations….okay….I’m okay with that….

Then…

He introduced me to his friends and his child… I asked again….what he was looking for…?

He said nothing had changed. I was like, um, you introduced me to your child and a few friends and family! Apparently, he didn’t see this as a big deal.

Then he went to Iran to visit family. While there, he sent me updates and photos….missing me and what not.

I thought to myself…this behavior is not casual.

He returned….with gifts for me. Blanket and two big boxes of his favorite candy.

I’m thinking, this is boyfriend behavior, maybe he wants a relationship now?

Then it started….he was only available on Wednesday and Thursday nights….no weekend. So, I threw out an invite – a plan for the weekend.

Him: Oh love, my weekend is sporadically busy

Me: I guess timing is bad all the way around

Me: It was nice getting to know you but it’s time I go on my way.

Him: Are you quitting us?

Me: We are casual, didn’t want to invite you to dinner having you anticipate sex when I’m just breaking things off. We aren’t in a “relationship” so I thought it would be more respectful to not make you sit through dinner and a “break-up” from a non-relationship.

Him: Ouch

I was annoyed. He wanted casual. I gave him the casual exit which is way better than ghosting. Ghosting is worse.

And as I finished writing this post….my single friend sent me this NY Times article by Lauren Petersen who is over 20 years my junior yet somehow our dating experiences are pretty similar. Only I’ve got significantly less matches waiting…but enough to be distracting.

I did match with that guy I met back in 2009. Hah, he is still damn cute. We are going to meet up.

 

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Job Interview: Prove It! Test

I saw this posting for an Office Manager for what looks like an amazing non profit in the city that focuses on educating low income New Yorkers for better opportunities for employment. After reading their mission, I decided it could be a great place for me! I’ve grown tired of working for Trump types who are in search of squeezing as much money out of the world for themselves while demanding accolades and compliments.

I want to work for an organization that does something useful and meaningful to better the world, not just take, take, take from it. This being said, I’m not naive and understand many non profits are really profitable for the few at the top and sometimes really just tax shelter for people just like Trump….but at least something good comes out of it….right? (Insert laughing track here)

Very soon after applying an invitation for a phone interview was sent! Yay! I was excited by the idea of working in a place I’d actually want shown on my LinkedIn profile. Right now my LinkedIn profile is gutted because most of the companies I’ve worked for are not in line with my belief system, to say the least, but it’s NY and rent has to be paid.

The phone interview went well, except she said I’d have to take a Personality Index test and  ProveIt! skills test AND physically bring my college degree with me for the interview. What? The only company that ever asked to see my degree was a jewelry company and this was AFTER they offered me the position and checked all my references. Not for nothing but anyone can make a fake degree with some fancy paper, printer and a pen so this seemed a bit silly to me….but whatever….they do good things…helping people get job training. I’m into it so I’ll play along. Continue reading

Saddest Subway Ad Ever – and a bit Sadistic

Sad ad

Why a bit sadistic you ask!? Well….who goes into advertising? Artists who want to be able to pay rent in NY! Otherwise….you have to store your passions while here….FUCK….this is brilliant art….or just really terrible advertising. Not sure so I’ll go with brilliant art.

This being said, today I was riding the subway and sat right across from this advertisement. As if the subway isn’t bad enough with the tunnel ceilings caving, trains being delayed for “signal problem” or a “police investigation” now the subway forces me to sit across from THIS?

I’d rather sit in a stinky bum car. If you don’t live in NYC and don’t know what a bum car is…click here to find out. The current state of advertising is depressing…literally. Luckily this article posted on CNBC’s site sees an end to traditional marketing (okay so the article focus is online but print ads can also fit the story)…although with the end of one style of bad advertising is the beginning of a style of marketing that looks far more nefarious …but…back to the subway and my experience of a bad ad….for my 30 minute subway ride…

Who thought this sad ad would make ANYONE use CubeSmart? All this ad does is remind me that the art world is fucking awful and living here one can’t even afford to have it as a hobby due to lack of space (or money to have the space for a tiny easel).

Further….tires? Who the hell even can afford a car in this city? I had one for a while and had to park it on the street….the city puked on, kicked, dented and tormented and then ticketed my car for years….I had to put it out to pasture. Now….I ride the subway…..and sit across from this ad.

I assume the bucket and gloves is for washing the car I can’t afford…so I guess it’s best to put that in storage…may as well. Or perhaps the bucket and gloves is for all the tears (or blood) people will cry (drain) while sitting across from this fuck all depressing, give up your passions and slit your wrists….ad.

Guitars….well…this is just dumb…I dated a guy who had a bunch of them in his tiny studio apartment….next to his tiny little couch…oh…he’s a doctor. Good thing he works in a hospital that doesn’t store tools for that passion in a CubeSmart.

Now….the knitting….really? Who the hell puts knitting in storage? The mice/bugs would just get all into that shit and make a mess and the smell of storage – um – eww. Ruined. Moths eating the good wool yarn too, let’s not forget moths.

Seriously. Plus, I actually only got a knack for knitting after having been caught up in people physically trying to kill each other while riding the subway. Sadly, I was sitting between them at the time. I left with bruises and ready to learn Krav Maga. Instead, I decided to learn how to knit.

Knit? You ask, what does knitting have to do with a fight on the subway and Krav Maga? Well, I’ll tell you. Knitting needles. The next time I end up in some idiots argument, someone is losing an eye….and it won’t be me.

Love Sick Dork = OK / Stalker = Not Okay

Below is an email chain with one of my closest friends…regarding Dr. Hottie

Friend to me:

Love sick dork = okay*

Stalker = not okay

Me to friend: 

I’m not a stalker…as soon as it was clear he had no interest in me.** I said my peace via email and deleted him from my phone, all the emails from forever, etc. He was playing the push/pull game with me. I was being stupid. It’s best if he stays where he is.

I have a nice young theater actor I used to see coming back to the city in a week or so***….a nice distraction.

I have an afternoon date today with this cute french chef. Love accents.

And this guy I dated back in 2009 just reached out. Crazy.
And now it’s about getting this job at That COMPANY. Anxiously waiting.
Friend to me:
Hey, you’ve got LOTS of good stuff going on!
Me to friend:

Lots of stuff, yes, but good…well…that is still up for argument.

I’m finding that a lot of guys here want me to act like a girlfriend and watch their coat/bag while they are at the buffet stuffing their face.
Finally I’m realizing if I keep this up, I’ll starve to death in a room full of food.
Friend to me:
Sorry, but that is hilarious.  You need to blog about that!
*I had previously mentioned to the above friend I was in love with this married man (platonic relationship on his end/stupid love on mine)
**I’m not sure I believe he has not interest…but he is married so….pathetic in unrequited love….but I’m no stalker. Although there was that ONE time….
***Young actor was who I called Yoga Boy in my previous dating blog.

United States of America, LLC

I don’t understand why so many are shocked by recent events in the United States and it’s funny to me that the NY Times article on this whole Comey situation even uses the word “stunning”!

I mean the NY Times should know Donald Trump business style is to fire anyone he doesn’t like/agree with/questions/exposes him or could cost him money…um he was the star of a reality show on this very topic…..remember? Oh and if you read the Wiki about the show…it says that Trump himself said that reality tv “was for the bottom-feeders of society”. I have to say, as much as it pains me to agree with anything Trump says, this statement, I have to 100% agree.

Trump went on to “bottom feed” for 14 seasons of The Apprentice. I’d love to see the footage that was cut from the show due to Trump’s comments or actions. I’m sure there is a bit of bottom feeder behavior.

Most of the businesses I’ve had the experience to work for either full time or temping in NY are run in the Trumpian style. It’s painfully clear all of the Executive Staff slept through their Business Ethics courses in college or just didn’t take them.

The Donald is the business norm. This behavior is not shocking. This is “normal” corporate behavior.

I’ve been in New York for almost ten years and have been witness to and the target of  mistreatment, sexual harassment, forced to train a kid who needed a work visa so he could get a work Visa to live in NY (His father was an old FOREIGN COUNTRY NAME HERE Army buddy of the CEO of the company I was working for) who didn’t know his ass from his elbow on how to do the job yet paid him 30k more than what they paid me. They forced me to trained him (from what I hear he still can’t edit video so they brought in a tudor)…then they let me go by eliminating my position. Nice.

THIS is MY experience in Corporate America.

I was able to land another job, at Mossad, Inc. unfortunately my boss was the guy known for “kissing all the pretty girls”. (Trump would be ashamed…he only kissed me? Didn’t go in for a grab?). The woman I was replacing told me to flirt with the boss to make the job more tolerable. Yeah, that kind o behavior isn’t  in my nature so things didn’t go Continue reading

I’ve got a ‘thing’ for men from the Middle East

There is something about men from the Middle East. I just….find them irresistible. The accents and the culture….so…hot….the Middle East and the men…and women. Shit.

It’s funny to be actively dating two Iranian guys. One grew up mostly in the US but speaks Farsi with his mom (love the sound of Farsi) and the other moved here when he was in his 20’s. They are both the same age, 48. They both have one child and they both are super sweet to me and neither of them want commitment. This is New York dating.

The One Turkish guy is amazingly smart, funny and now, a friend. We dated for a little bit but quickly realized we really just enjoy each other as friends…plus he really likes his women. He did a bit of over sharing about women which kind of killed my interest and pushed him over the “just friends” fence. Adorable guy, smart neuroscientist with deep brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

The Israeli will show up in this blog often….my friends will attest to that (and most likely roll their eyes). I’ve been in love with him since we first met….back in December of 2014.

The Iranian….oh wait…there are two…one lives in Manhattan and the other is in Brooklyn.

I’ll start with Brooklyn. Continue reading

Enough Complaining….Now for the Good Stuff…

Being unemployed is not easy….being unemployed in New York is down right fucking terrifying…and the first time this happened to me WAY back when the company dissolved, my apartment had to be torn apart due to some boiler issue, my dog died, my neighbor died (nobody even knew he was dead ’til you could smell it in the hallway), I left the city to regroup and it took three years to pull myself back up be able to afford to move back (sometimes I wonder WHY I’d ever want to move back to NY after that experience….but…I love NY and life is about ups and downs…right?).

My most recent job loss…unlike the ones previous….I’m prepared as I’ve been in a panic-save money-because you can lose your job at any moment for any reason or even no reason- situation ….I’d been let go from one job, then another, then quit another….these experiences were enough to put me into this ongoing crisis money-saving mode. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time of the first job loss (sexual harassment job) to cut my rental costs (I know, I know, not a good for the relationship, but very good for my wallet) and looking back….we would have broken up regardless so at least this way we both saved some money in rent while figuring it out. Continue reading