He Calls My Vagina – Flower

Really, he does and he means it. Granted he describes himself as a corny guy. He’s the guy in Brooklyn.

Anyhow, back to my vagina….okay vagina doesn’t sound all that sexy but flower? The first time he said it, I almost went dry.

Almost…he has a way with…flowers. Shit.

Yup. I am now calling my vagina/pussy/girl….Flower. Circa 1950. He admits to being a cheese ball so it kind of makes it cute/acceptable? I do like Georgia O’Keeffe so maybe it’s okay to call my Lady Parts….Flower. It’s better than cunt. I don’t like cunt. My ex-boyfriend called me a cunt in a fight once. That was towards the end of him. Now, when I see his wife, it makes me wonder if he calls her a cunt too or if that was just unique for me. He’s such a dick (hah- get what I did there?).

I googled to see what other names are given to vaginas and stumbled on this Jezebel article…and after reading it and the suggested names ranging from cooter, clam, Vajajay, Muff, Snatch, Fanny and Box.

I had a dog named Fanny once (rescue pit bull from Brooklyn)….and gave her to that dick of a boyfriend whose name was, vaJAYjay okay, his actual name was just Jay but it’s quite something I never realized his name could be pussy related. He actually took the dog Fanny when we broke up…he was very good with dogs…women/flowers….ah…well…not this one right here. Maybe he is better with cunts.

If I were to pick a name for my v, it would have no name,  I’d just say kiss me and then slowly guide him…down there. Perhaps a symbol?

Although with Brooklyn…no need to guide…it’s his favorite activity. How did I get so lucky!? Not only does he like to, he’s got mad talent and should he ever lose his day job…he could offer lessons on this shit. I kid you not.

I’d never experienced the whole female ejaculation thing until recently….and he has the knack for it…and it’s a real thing (I used to think it was in the realm of the make believe….like the unicorn).

My friend also experienced it for the first time recently too (only not with my guy…her own….also found on a dating site…yay for online dating).  I can’t believe there are still new discoveries to be made on the sexual front at my age especially considering I went to art school and have had some adventurous partners yet have never had the whole gushing thing happen.

Now I know why guys are exhausted after ejaculation….it all makes sense to me now….it’s mindblowing-ly exhausting. I think I’ll write more about this later….I’m exhausted.




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