I just left sweets in his office mailbox….didn’t want to disturb him while working. He’s a therapist so knocking on his door and popping my head in is not an option. I just missed him and wanted to acknowledge this as it had been about a month since we’d gotten babka and tea in the park and we’ve been chatting via email/text. I knew he was pretty stressed because he was moving – bigger house, bigger mortgage – longer commute – sad face. I was hoping the sale would fall through and he’d remain in the little house by the train station that he told me about. He loved that little house. The patio. The birds.
I suspect the wife wanted the bigger house…well…more than suspect. He basically told me. She is either going to drive him into an early grave with all her demands – or – if I’m lucky – she’ll drive him away from her and towards me! (Yes, I was/am a bit delusional here….but shit…if the French President can marry his teacher who was married and in a situation not acceptable by society….why can’t it work with me and Dr. Hottie)?
I met him several years ago while participating in a medical study (see earlier post). I’d found the study after having lost my job and amazingly it fit my disorder! I’m not going into details because I’m tired of that story and so is just about everyone else who knows me.
Anyhow….I met him while participating in the study. The minute I laid eyes on him….I was toast. Beautiful. Fucking ridiculously beautiful. And smart. And….the accent (the whole catching fish with the butt – Israeli style). We kept in touch (okay more than kept in touch but that’s another story) and infatuation turned to what I think is me in love…maybe? Not sure….is infatuation sustainable….for years?
So, I dropped the sweets off without seeing if he would be there. I just wanted him to have something that make him happy. He’s so cute…munching away on them.
I texted him as I was exiting his building.
2 minutes later I look down and he’s texted me.
Him: Where are you?
Me: up the block!
My phone then vibrates…he’s calling me…
Him: Where are you? Are you close?
Me: I’m up the street.
Him: Why didn’t you tell me you were here? We missed the chance to see each other!
Me: I did! I sent you a text.
Him: Do you miss us? (munching on the candy I just dropped off)
Me: (in disbelief that he is even asking) Of course I miss us! (I didn’t realize until this moment that maybe he DOES feel the same way about me?)
Him: If I knew we could have seen each other, we missed the opportunity to see each other, my patient is late…garble….something….something….(sound of eating)…
Me: I’m sorry, you are enjoying the candy, I can’t understand you while your munching away…
Him: oh my patient is here, thank you Louise, thank you. Next time tell me when you are in the neighborhood.
Me: I’m always in your neighborhood! This is where my life is! Okay, bye.
I miss the shit out of him….but have since parted ways (after letting him know when I was in the neighborhood -hah- funny how that is – maybe I did look like a stalker but my life really IS in that neighborhood but now I’m doing my best to avoid that neighborhood) and deleted him from my contacts/phone/email. If only I could delete him from my mind.