Being unemployed is not easy….being unemployed in New York is down right fucking terrifying…and the first time this happened to me WAY back when the company dissolved, my apartment had to be torn apart due to some boiler issue, my dog died, my neighbor died (nobody even knew he was dead ’til you could smell it in the hallway), I left the city to regroup and it took three years to pull myself back up be able to afford to move back (sometimes I wonder WHY I’d ever want to move back to NY after that experience….but…I love NY and life is about ups and downs…right?).
My most recent job loss…unlike the ones previous….I’m prepared as I’ve been in a panic-save money-because you can lose your job at any moment for any reason or even no reason- situation ….I’d been let go from one job, then another, then quit another….these experiences were enough to put me into this ongoing crisis money-saving mode. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time of the first job loss (sexual harassment job) to cut my rental costs (I know, I know, not a good for the relationship, but very good for my wallet) and looking back….we would have broken up regardless so at least this way we both saved some money in rent while figuring it out.
Living with him I was able to save a significant amount of money and eventually build myself a decent little nest egg. Sadly, I quit that job working for an art dealer AND then lost the job that followed working for the Israeli cyber security (wink-wink) company (I actually think this company hired me because the boyfriend at the time was Israeli, not joking) so ended up staying in the relationship a bit longer than I should have AND took the job with Mossad, Inc. when I should have just kept looking….but wait…
This is supposed to be a post where I’m not complaining!
Okay, so, I was let go from Mossad, Inc. (NOT to be confused with the Israeli security company, Moonshot) and I assumed I’d be left to my own devices, my therapy would end (I’d been going to therapy for about three years for PTSD and really adore my therapist) and I don’t have a boyfriend….or a roommate to share the rental cost…
The other times I’d lost my jobs in NY it very isolating and sad experience for me. This time, however, I’ve got a huge network of friends and people I don’t even know very well who are offering to help me in all sorts of ways from connecting me with job opportunities (okay so one led me to one day HORRIBLE experience working with an artist) and even offers from my yoga teacher to attend her yoga classes for free! One of my girl (space) friends invites me to dinner at her place all the time and really has supported me with positive vibes, while another girl friend tells me of her experience to let me know I’m not alone and her struggle to find a better job was also challenging (and she sends me pointers and coupons for my interview suit buying trips). My therapist is still in contact with me and offering support and not because I’m a paying patient, but because he actually cares about me. Amazing.
One of my coworkers from this last job took me to dinner and printed my resumes for me (I gave the ex the printer when I left and just haven’t gotten a new one – boyfriend OR printer). She also lends a lot of emotional support with dealing with having been downsized and treated like poo. She put it into perspective….the company treats everyone like shit…why would I expect them to be decent to me? (YES, this sucks that the company treats people terribly but she made me feel better knowing it wasn’t about me – specifically).
A guy I was dating who we then became friends…offered his place to me should I lose my apartment! I was stunned. He bought me dinner right after losing my job as well and we discussed it. I was overwhelmed he would offer and asked him why he would think I’d lose my apartment. He said that if he lost his job, he’d not be able to afford his place for very long so assumed my situation may be similar. The crazy thing is….he’s a doctor! (My assumption was that he makes a shit ton of money and would not be living paycheck to paycheck – I guess that seems silly to assume just because someone is a doctor – they have a savings account). This made me realize, I’m in a very good place if I’ve managed to SAVE money, and my jobs are low paying assistant gigs. I’m far more fortunate than I even know!
My friend from a job way back in Boston is currently sending me emails and checking in while on vacation in Australia! He and his wife are the awesomest…I need to schedule dinner with them when they get back.
My friend from second grade also calls/texts to check in on me daily to make sure I’m not in a jobless funk. It’s unbelievable how much a good morning text from a dear friend can improve my entire day….week….life.
This time I’m surrounded by positive people who are encouraging me to look forward and assure me I’ll land in a better place. I’ve got two interviews scheduled….one today at 2pm and another on Monday.
My advice to anyone…surround yourself with awesome people….this is what life is about…
I disagree with the whole…whoever dies with the most toys wins…that’s just not my truth…
Whoever dies with the awesomest friends wins, hands down.