More Signs from the Universe

So, the universe seems to be sending me all sorts of signs, or so this is what I tell myself to feel better about my current life situation.

The man  I am totally in love with but can’t be with….well…he bought this record player that I was in love with that looked a lot like this one, you know the huge furniture style player that weighs a ton.

Okay, so long story short, he bought it and then couldn’t get it to work so I offered to help figure out how to get it fixed…well…we couldn’t get it fixed and he was moving and had to get rid of it. So, I crafted him a nice ad for Craigslist to get rid of it.

Okay, so back to today…me…heartbroken…

I was walking home from a guy I’m seeing’s house. He lives in Brooklyn and I was heading home on trash day. Mind you, I’ve not seen a huge record player like this in years….yet…the morning I’m walking home from his place thinking about the other guy who I ‘m totally in love with and offered my kidney to (not that he needs it, I was just offering in advance, me being slightly dramatic) who normally has texted or email while with this other guy (it seems he always messaged me while out with this guy in Brooklyn).

Anyhow….I’m walking along….through Bed Stuy…on Fulton….and BOOM….right there…curbside…the record player! I was going to take a photo and send it to him but realized we are not currently talking….so I just kept walking…

Now I wish I’d taken the photo…and wonder if maybe this was a sign from the universe?

But….even if it is a sign…what is it telling me? That I need to let go? But….I don’t want to. He used to sing to me….and I miss it.

Sign from the Universe?

I’m not religious BUT I do believe in energy of the universe…not like Pantheism….but kind of…if you remove the god part.

Anyhow…moving on…

Recently I was in a position where I had to let go of someone I care for deeply….okay fine…I’m madly in love with him but timing is just all wrong….so…I am doing my best to let go.

My last message to him states how much I care for him and should he ever need anything from me, like help choosing winter attire, selling a record player, advice about business or a kidney, I’d happily provide. (I said, kidding, not kidding about the kidney). He did not reply to my message…I guess it’s not all that romantic to offer kidneys – perhaps a bit disturbing even – my heart was in the right place?

Then the universe stepped in.

I’d been having flank pain on the right side for about 8 months or so. Me, being one who doesn’t appreciate western medicine after a few bad experiences, decided to ignore the pain and eventually it would either go away or kill me.

Okay, so a few days after sending my heartfelt/kidney offering email (a bit dramatic, I admit) the pain became unbearable. AGONY. Oh shit, at this moment I realized what the pain was…a kidney stone! I’d had one about 12 years ago and it was awful.

I offer my kidney to him and my body released a kidney stone. The funny thing is one afternoon of agony and then – done. No more pain.

I’m not sure what the universe was trying to say to me but clearly….it was sending me some sort of message…right?

So I decided to Google “Signs from the Universe“…..


Interviewer Pets Belly

My staffing agency secured me an interview with a Hedge Fund assisting a team of 9 (nobody should have to assist 9 people but jobs are tight) so I went with an open mind.

It was in the same building as my previous company only the lobby on the “fancy” side. The Hedge Fund office was beautiful, obviously, being a hedge fund they have the money to throw around. The day of my interview it was pouring out. I managed to get there without getting too soggy….put on my “interview” shoes and went up to their floor.

The receptionist was friendly and escorted me to the little conference room a few steps down the hall where I waited to meet with let’s call her Maria. Maria was the Office & Operations Manager at this Hedge Fund.

Maria entered the conference room. Her hair was straight with a tiny flip at the shoulder – one could tell her hair wanted to be curly and wild but she was not having it. Straight. She smoothed her hair with both hands from the part down after she sat down. She wore a butterfly necklace and conservative yet stylish outfit paired with very high heels.

The interview started….normal stuff…how long were you at company blah blah, what are you looking for….blah blah…

Then I noticed…..she was stroking her belly….like REALLY stroking her belly. I look at her belly, then look at her face….does she even know she’s petting herself? Is she using her belly as a crystal ball? Hire/not hire/hire/not hire…belly…what is the right option?

Me: Why is the person in the role leaving? Is she staying with the company?

Her: She is leaving the company…..(she went on about the woman leaving the company but I was so distracted by her continuous belly petting it was hard to pay attention).

Then she moved from her belly back to parting her hair…both hands….smoothing he hair down. Back to the belly….

Long story short, from where I was sitting, this Maria looked like she would be a NIGHTMARE to work with, um, control freak anyone? OH, shit, and she’s petting her belly because she is pregnant. Tiny little baby bump (you know, the stylish NY kind).

It was clear we were not hitting it off. I tried to do my best to be open but all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of that tiny little conference room and as far away from the super stylish belly petter.

What really baffles me is…..these are the people who decide if I get a job or not…these are the people I’d have to work for….I mean….what the? Something is very wrong with this situation. Very Stepford Wives.

The staffing company who got me this interview never got back to me after I’d called them regarding the interview….I really wanted to ask them if other candidates had the same experience. I’ve also managed to fall off the staffing agency eblast. Hah.



FLU Salad

I never understand why some CEO’s don’t realize they will be best served by treating their assistants and receptionists with common human decency. Sadly, many of the CEO’s are just jerks that treat anyone working for them (or serving them in restaurants/stores/etc.) with an air of entitlement.

This post is for those CEO’s. YOU ARE NOT DOING YOURSELF ANY FAVORS by being a jerk.

While working for one of the many CEO’s in NYC, I had the fortunate experience to work for a terribly rude, tantrum throwing, shady as shit CEO. He dressed funny and talked through his nose in a high pitch squeal. The entire time at the company they kept cutting employee benefits, spending and anything to make the company better…while his gym bag had a butler driving it to and from the office. So, my health insurance cost $1400 IN network before covering any of my health services on top of my pay-in. Essentially, I was paying 80% of my health insurance benefits but couldn’t afford to even use them with the high deductible. His gym bag, however, never had to worry about getting sick as it didn’t have to take the subway.

So, the CEO loves salad…the same salad. Every day with the same salad. The delivery person from the salad place knew us well. One day the salad delivery person was delivering the salad. He looked awful, eyes and nose red, sniffling and should have been home sipping soup….but because he can’t afford to take the day off….he was delivering salad. The bag had clearly been handled by flu delivery guy.

I took the salad and offered him a tea. He declined and vanished to the elevator banks. I knew the bag was contaminated…just knew it….and had this salad been for the CEO I worked for in Boston…I never would have let him near it. Straight into the trash. But…this wasn’t the CEO in Boston…I ain’t in Boston anymore. I’m in NY, and thus far, from my experience, the CEO’s here are not so decent humans. These people are more like Donald Trump.

So, what do you think I did?

I carried the salad into the CEO’s office….put it down on his desk (overheard him speaking about how to “trick people into providing banking info on their site” – good guy – really – top notch).

“Enjoy,” I stated leaving his office and heading straight to the sink to scrub the flu off my hands.

…the following week….the CEO was out sick.

When he finally returned, his nose was still red and runny as he told me to order his salad.

No problem.

References – Bernie Madoff

I’m on a job search and the last couple of companies I’ve worked for have been less than ethical. I will not go into details…

I do have references from my previous ETHICAL bosses, sadly, this dates back a while…..

What if my previous boss was Bernie Madoff (before he got caught)?

How valuable is a stellar reference from him?

Maybe those looking to hire should consider some of us workers have ethics and would rather leave with NO reference than a stellar one from the likes of him.

I’ve worked for guys who aspire to be Bernie Madoff and am more than fine not having their stamp of approval.

Thank you.

This letter is not a reference for a job but it IS an actual reference from Bernie Madoff speaking to the “ethical” values of the person he is endorsing.

Think about this for a minute.

Bernie letterLet it sink in.

This is a copy of a real letter from one of my temp jobs…found in the trash….where it belongs.

Not Your Wednesday/Thursday….

I met an amazing guy on Bumble. He is cute, successful, well mannered and just an all around gentleman who happens to still be married (although separated/not yet divorced from his wife with whom he has a child with). My understanding is his divorce would be final May 1.

I misunderstood…his divorce would be considered “uncontested” on May 1st. He hasn’t filed the papers yet. I never dated a separated guy before and didn’t realize it’s not a good idea to date a guy who hasn’t been divorced for at least two years. Apparently I’m the only person in NY that didn’t know this already. Now I know…..


I’d been seeing him for nearly five months and absolutely adored him…to say I was emotionally invested is an understatement. Granted I’d drop him like a bad habit if Dr. Hottie were available but that goes without saying…although I did just say it.

This Bumble guy is everything I want in a significant other….sweet, smart, funny, thoughtful, affectionate….but…apparently not “everything” being: emotionally available. Funny…just realizing maybe I’m not available either considering I’m in love with Dr. Hottie.

We started with drinks, then dinner and drinks after work, then this led to weekend overnight stays…and things seemed to be progressing nicely. He kissed me at random times and showered me with affection. It was intoxicating.

He said just to have fun and no expectations….okay….I’m okay with that….


He introduced me to his friends and his child… I asked again….what he was looking for…?

He said nothing had changed. I was like, um, you introduced me to your child and a few friends and family! Apparently, he didn’t see this as a big deal.

Then he went to Iran to visit family. While there, he sent me updates and photos….missing me and what not.

I thought to myself…this behavior is not casual.

He returned….with gifts for me. Blanket and two big boxes of his favorite candy.

I’m thinking, this is boyfriend behavior, maybe he wants a relationship now?

Then it started….he was only available on Wednesday and Thursday nights….no weekend. So, I threw out an invite – a plan for the weekend.

Him: Oh love, my weekend is sporadically busy

Me: I guess timing is bad all the way around

Me: It was nice getting to know you but it’s time I go on my way.

Him: Are you quitting us?

Me: We are casual, didn’t want to invite you to dinner having you anticipate sex when I’m just breaking things off. We aren’t in a “relationship” so I thought it would be more respectful to not make you sit through dinner and a “break-up” from a non-relationship.

Him: Ouch

I was annoyed. He wanted casual. I gave him the casual exit which is way better than ghosting. Ghosting is worse.

And as I finished writing this post….my single friend sent me this NY Times article by Lauren Petersen who is over 20 years my junior yet somehow our dating experiences are pretty similar. Only I’ve got significantly less matches waiting…but enough to be distracting.

Just matched with a guy I met back in 2009. Hah, he is still damn cute. We are going to meet up.


Job Interview: Prove It! Test

I saw this posting for an Office Manager for what looks like an amazing non profit in the city that focuses on educating low income New Yorkers for better opportunities for employment. After reading their mission, I decided it could be a great place for me! I’ve grown tired of working for Trump types who are in search of squeezing as much money out of the world for themselves while demanding accolades and compliments.

I want to work for an organization that does something useful and meaningful to better the world, not just take, take, take from it. This being said, I’m not naive and understand many non profits are really profitable for the few at the top and sometimes really just tax shelter for people just like Trump….but at least something good comes out of it….right? (Insert laughing track here)

Very soon after applying an invitation for a phone interview was sent! Yay! I was excited by the idea of working in a place I’d actually want shown on my LinkedIn profile. Right now my LinkedIn profile is gutted because most of the companies I’ve worked for are not in line with my belief system, to say the least, but it’s NY and rent has to be paid.

The phone interview went well, except she said I’d have to take a Personality Index test and  ProveIt! skills test AND physically bring my college degree with me for the interview. What? The only company that ever asked to see my degree was a jewelry company and this was AFTER they offered me the position and checked all my references. Not for nothing but anyone can make a fake degree with some fancy paper, printer and a pen so this seemed a bit silly to me….but whatever….they do good things…helping people get job training. I’m into it so I’ll play along. Continue reading

Saddest Subway Ad Ever – and a bit Sadistic

Sad ad

Why a bit sadistic you ask!? Well….who goes into advertising? Artists who want to be able to pay rent in NY! Otherwise….you have to store your passions while here….FUCK….this is brilliant art….or just really terrible advertising. Not sure so I’ll go with brilliant art.

This being said, today I was riding the subway and sat right across from this advertisement. As if the subway isn’t bad enough with the tunnel ceilings caving, trains being delayed for “signal problem” or a “police investigation” now the subway forces me to sit across from THIS?

I’d rather sit in a stinky bum car. If you don’t live in NYC and don’t know what a bum car is…click here to find out. The current state of advertising is depressing…literally. Luckily this article posted on CNBC’s site sees an end to traditional marketing (okay so the article focus is online but print ads can also fit the story)…although with the end of one style of bad advertising is the beginning of a style of marketing that looks far more nefarious …but…back to the subway and my experience of a bad ad….for my 30 minute subway ride…

Who thought this sad ad would make ANYONE use CubeSmart? All this ad does is remind me that the art world is fucking awful and living here one can’t even afford to have it as a hobby due to lack of space (or money to have the space for a tiny easel).

Further….tires? Who the hell even can afford a car in this city? I had one for a while and had to park it on the street….the city puked on, kicked, dented and tormented and then ticketed my car for years….I had to put it out to pasture. Now….I ride the subway…..and sit across from this ad.

I assume the bucket and gloves is for washing the car I can’t afford…so I guess it’s best to put that in storage…may as well. Or perhaps the bucket and gloves is for all the tears (or blood) people will cry (drain) while sitting across from this fuck all depressing, give up your passions and slit your wrists….ad.

Guitars….well…this is just dumb…I dated a guy who had a bunch of them in his tiny studio apartment….next to his tiny little couch…oh…he’s a doctor. Good thing he works in a hospital that doesn’t store tools for that passion in a CubeSmart.

Now….the knitting….really? Who the hell puts knitting in storage? The mice/bugs would just get all into that shit and make a mess and the smell of storage – um – eww. Ruined. Moths eating the good wool yarn too, let’s not forget moths.

Seriously. Plus, I actually only got a knack for knitting after having been caught up in people physically trying to kill each other while riding the subway. Sadly, I was sitting between them at the time. I left with bruises and ready to learn Krav Maga. Instead, I decided to learn how to knit.

Knit? You ask, what does knitting have to do with a fight on the subway and Krav Maga? Well, I’ll tell you. Knitting needles. The next time I end up in some idiots argument, someone is losing an eye….and it won’t be me.

Love Sick Dork = OK / Stalker = Not Okay

Below is an email chain with one of my closest friends…

Friend to me:

Love sick dork = okay*

Stalker = not okay

Me to friend: 

I’m not a stalker…as soon as it was clear he had no interest in me.** I said my peace via email and deleted him from my phone, all the emails from forever, etc. He was playing the push/pull game with me. I was being stupid. It’s best if he stays where he is.

I have a nice young theater actor I used to see coming back to the city in a week or so***….a nice distraction. I have an afternoon date today with this cute french chef. Love accents.

And this guy I dated back in 2009 just reached out. Crazy.
And now it’s about getting this job at That COMPANY. Anxiously waiting.
Friend to me:
Hey, you’ve got LOTS of good stuff going on!
Me to friend:

Lots of stuff, yes, but good…well…that is still up for argument.

I’m finding that a lot of guys here want me to act like a girlfriend and watch their coat/bag while they are at the buffet stuffing their face.
Finally I’m realizing if I keep this up, I’ll starve to death in a room full of food.
Friend to me:
Sorry, but that is hilarious.  You need to blog about that!
*I had previously mentioned to the above friend I was in love with this married man (platonic relationship on his end/stupid love on mine)
**I’m not sure I believe he has not interest…but he is married so….pathetic in unrequited love….but I’m no stalker. Although there was that ONE time….
***Young actor was who I called Yoga Boy in my previous dating blog.

United States of America, LLC

I don’t understand why so many are shocked by recent events in the United States and it’s funny to me that the NY Times article on this whole Comey situation even uses the word “stunning”!

I mean the NY Times should know Donald Trump business style is to fire anyone he doesn’t like/agree with/questions/exposes him or could cost him money…um he was the star of a reality show on this very topic…..remember? Oh and if you read the Wiki about the show…it says that Trump himself said that reality tv “was for the bottom-feeders of society”. I have to say, as much as it pains me to agree with anything Trump says, this statement, I have to 100% agree.

Trump went on to “bottom feed” for 14 seasons of The Apprentice. I’d love to see the footage that was cut from the show due to Trump’s comments or actions. I’m sure there is a bit of bottom feeder behavior.

Most of the businesses I’ve had the experience to work for either full time or temping in NY are run in the Trumpian style. It’s painfully clear all of the Executive Staff slept through their Business Ethics courses in college or just didn’t take them.

The Donald is the business norm. This behavior is not shocking. This is “normal” corporate behavior.

I’ve been in New York for almost ten years and have been witness to and the target of  mistreatment, sexual harassment, forced to train a kid who needed a work visa so he could get a work Visa to live in NY (His father was an old FOREIGN COUNTRY NAME HERE Army buddy of the CEO of the company I was working for) who didn’t know his ass from his elbow on how to do the job yet paid him 30k more than what they paid me. They forced me to trained him (from what I hear he still can’t edit video so they brought in a tudor)…then they let me go by eliminating my position. Nice.

THIS is MY experience in Corporate America.

I was able to land another job, at Mossad, Inc. unfortunately my boss was the guy known for “kissing all the pretty girls”. (Trump would be ashamed…he only kissed me? Didn’t go in for a grab?). The woman I was replacing told me to flirt with the boss to make the job more tolerable. Yeah, that kind o behavior isn’t  in my nature so things didn’t go Continue reading